A NEW DAY & A NEW WAY
Recently my Stepfather, who was extremely ill, took his own life. To date, the most difficult thing I’ve ever processed. What amount of physical and emotional pain brings this kind of depression and despair? Why would a person kill them self? I must admit, the hopelessness of his suicide left me overwhelmed and heart sick.
Could I have done anything different? Could another family member have prevented this from happening? All the whys’ and what ifs’ will forever go unanswered. Death is a natural process, but the loss of a loved one in this manner is extremely hard to understand. The one positive thing, if there is one, is that my Stepfather is no longer in pain.
After a sudden death, the rest of the family is left to re-group and process the next phase of life; however difficult that may be. A couple of years ago, I heard a sermon by Pastor Ricky Temple that begged the question, “How well do you transition in life? He said, "If you don't transition well, you will eventually be carrying around dead things; and the worst part is everyone will know they are dead but you.” My conclusion: If we do not transition well, there will be no forward movement. When the cares of this life weight you down and life seems hopeless; don’t stop, keep going. I wish I could have imparted that to my Stepfather...
After the initial shock of his death, I realized that I too needed to make a change. It all started last summer when the Lord asked me to resign from the Single Mom’s Ministry. I seemed to be in a season of waiting. Only I wasn’t just waiting, I lost my vision and hunger for the Lord. My life felt mundane and without purpose. The days and months past before I realized, I needed a fresh vision. Oh don’t get me wrong, I was still preaching, reading the Word, and robotically attending church and prayer meetings; but without zeal…..
The place I was in, the Brook Cherith dried up and I needed to find Zarephath. Change was in order; and although we pray for change, and desperately need it─it isn’t always welcomed. It’s uncomfortable and requires much more motivation than we often posses in a dry place. I also didn’t know where to start, and then it happened. An altar call at church for people who had lost their vision…Imagine that, God was ease dropping!
Soon after, while working for an elderly client of mine, I walked onto their balcony. Their home is an enormous condominium high above Century City, overlooking the Westside. On a clear day, you can see where the land and the Pacific Ocean meet. As I was staring out, the Lord suddenly said, “Do you see the ocean Daina?” I said, “Yes Lord, I see it, but just barely.” Then He said, “But you know it’s there?” I said, “Yes Lord, I know it’s there.” Then very clearly I heard, “What I have for you is there too Daina, and although you can barely see it, it’s there, keep going.”
Let’s just say if I could have flown off that balcony to “my destiny” it would have been a quick and easy trip. Suffice to say, that’s not how life works. It isn’t lived on the mountain tops, but rather in the valleys. In order to start this “new day,” I had to take the elevator down to the bottom floor and begin to make my way towards something I know is there, but may not always be able to see. Faith…things hoped for, yet not seen. I’m sure there will be sorrow and joy, suffering and healing, tears and smiles, troubles and triumphs along the way. However, I’ve decided to embrace this new season, and I'm praising God for my renewed vision. In fact, I'm excited again, and I can feel the call of the Lord pressing me forward. I caught the vision and discovered “A New Day and A New Way!”
Rev Daina House
7/11/11
Could I have done anything different? Could another family member have prevented this from happening? All the whys’ and what ifs’ will forever go unanswered. Death is a natural process, but the loss of a loved one in this manner is extremely hard to understand. The one positive thing, if there is one, is that my Stepfather is no longer in pain.
After a sudden death, the rest of the family is left to re-group and process the next phase of life; however difficult that may be. A couple of years ago, I heard a sermon by Pastor Ricky Temple that begged the question, “How well do you transition in life? He said, "If you don't transition well, you will eventually be carrying around dead things; and the worst part is everyone will know they are dead but you.” My conclusion: If we do not transition well, there will be no forward movement. When the cares of this life weight you down and life seems hopeless; don’t stop, keep going. I wish I could have imparted that to my Stepfather...
After the initial shock of his death, I realized that I too needed to make a change. It all started last summer when the Lord asked me to resign from the Single Mom’s Ministry. I seemed to be in a season of waiting. Only I wasn’t just waiting, I lost my vision and hunger for the Lord. My life felt mundane and without purpose. The days and months past before I realized, I needed a fresh vision. Oh don’t get me wrong, I was still preaching, reading the Word, and robotically attending church and prayer meetings; but without zeal…..
The place I was in, the Brook Cherith dried up and I needed to find Zarephath. Change was in order; and although we pray for change, and desperately need it─it isn’t always welcomed. It’s uncomfortable and requires much more motivation than we often posses in a dry place. I also didn’t know where to start, and then it happened. An altar call at church for people who had lost their vision…Imagine that, God was ease dropping!
Soon after, while working for an elderly client of mine, I walked onto their balcony. Their home is an enormous condominium high above Century City, overlooking the Westside. On a clear day, you can see where the land and the Pacific Ocean meet. As I was staring out, the Lord suddenly said, “Do you see the ocean Daina?” I said, “Yes Lord, I see it, but just barely.” Then He said, “But you know it’s there?” I said, “Yes Lord, I know it’s there.” Then very clearly I heard, “What I have for you is there too Daina, and although you can barely see it, it’s there, keep going.”
Let’s just say if I could have flown off that balcony to “my destiny” it would have been a quick and easy trip. Suffice to say, that’s not how life works. It isn’t lived on the mountain tops, but rather in the valleys. In order to start this “new day,” I had to take the elevator down to the bottom floor and begin to make my way towards something I know is there, but may not always be able to see. Faith…things hoped for, yet not seen. I’m sure there will be sorrow and joy, suffering and healing, tears and smiles, troubles and triumphs along the way. However, I’ve decided to embrace this new season, and I'm praising God for my renewed vision. In fact, I'm excited again, and I can feel the call of the Lord pressing me forward. I caught the vision and discovered “A New Day and A New Way!”
Rev Daina House
7/11/11
posted by Rev. Daina House at
4:22 PM
2 Comments:
First, my condolences for your stepfather. May he mercifully rest in God’s eternal peace and presence. Your reflections on the nature of his death, suicide, include the often-mentioned thought of what else those around him might have done, especially when they have offered the victim ample love, compassion, and support. Just as Pastor Ricky provided you with a key insight, so too do the words in Matthew 11: 28-30. As a pastor here in Texas reminded us recently while reflecting on those words, Christ says, “Come to me.” So, he’s implying that when we get overwhelmed with life’s burden’s that we should think, “Don’t take your life; CHANGE your life!”
And what better way to change one’s life than to move toward the Lord?! Whether one is faced with a loss of spiritual zeal, physical suffering, financial woes, you-name-it - our knee-jerk reaction, our habit, should be to turn to the sweet Lord Jesus. But in today’s world of instant know-it-alls on the internet and TV, we hear the constant, commercial drumbeat of how to be happy, fit, fulfilled, and relevant. Yet how many of these gurus – if any – mention the King of Kings? That’s why your attention to the still, quiet voice of the Lord on top of that Century City condominium is so huge. Your reaction and habit was to go to sweet Jesus. As you say - you knew that Jesus was calling you to take the elevator down and to go into the valley, the mundane, the everyday skull-drudgery of life built largely around service to others. It ain’t easy and it’s sure not glamorous. But it IS the way ‘cause it’s based on Christ and his loving example. Indeed, Rev. Daina, that’s why your life and the very testimony of how you’ve transformed yourself through God continue to be so important. That’s why you’re writing your book and that’s why you’re RENEWING yourself in the Lord.
Finally, congratulations on the news of your upcoming October ordination, all of which is pointing to a new day and a new way – steeped in Jesus. Blessings upon thee.
– Bob B.
Bob:
Thank you for your insights and exhortations! They are right on and always welcomed...
Blessings,
Daina
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home