Monday, July 11, 2011


Recently my Stepfather, who was extremely ill, took his own life. To date, the most difficult thing I’ve ever processed. What amount of physical and emotional pain brings this kind of depression and despair? Why would a person kill them self? I must admit, the hopelessness of his suicide left me overwhelmed and heart sick.

Could I have done anything different? Could another family member have prevented this from happening? All the whys’ and what ifs’ will forever go unanswered. Death is a natural process, but the loss of a loved one in this manner is extremely hard to understand. The one positive thing, if there is one, is that my Stepfather is no longer in pain.

After a sudden death, the rest of the family is left to re-group and process the next phase of life; however difficult that may be. A couple of years ago, I heard a sermon by Pastor Ricky Temple that begged the question, “How well do you transition in life? He said, "If you don't transition well, you will eventually be carrying around dead things; and the worst part is everyone will know they are dead but you.” My conclusion: If we do not transition well, there will be no forward movement. When the cares of this life weight you down and life seems hopeless; don’t stop, keep going. I wish I could have imparted that to my Stepfather...

After the initial shock of his death, I realized that I too needed to make a change. It all started last summer when the Lord asked me to resign from the Single Mom’s Ministry. I seemed to be in a season of waiting. Only I wasn’t just waiting, I lost my vision and hunger for the Lord. My life felt mundane and without purpose. The days and months past before I realized, I needed a fresh vision. Oh don’t get me wrong, I was still preaching, reading the Word, and robotically attending church and prayer meetings; but without zeal…..

The place I was in, the Brook Cherith dried up and I needed to find Zarephath. Change was in order; and although we pray for change, and desperately need it─it isn’t always welcomed. It’s uncomfortable and requires much more motivation than we often posses in a dry place. I also didn’t know where to start, and then it happened. An altar call at church for people who had lost their vision…Imagine that, God was ease dropping!

Soon after, while working for an elderly client of mine, I walked onto their balcony. Their home is an enormous condominium high above Century City, overlooking the Westside. On a clear day, you can see where the land and the Pacific Ocean meet. As I was staring out, the Lord suddenly said, “Do you see the ocean Daina?” I said, “Yes Lord, I see it, but just barely.” Then He said, “But you know it’s there?” I said, “Yes Lord, I know it’s there.” Then very clearly I heard, “What I have for you is there too Daina, and although you can barely see it, it’s there, keep going.”

Let’s just say if I could have flown off that balcony to “my destiny” it would have been a quick and easy trip. Suffice to say, that’s not how life works. It isn’t lived on the mountain tops, but rather in the valleys. In order to start this “new day,” I had to take the elevator down to the bottom floor and begin to make my way towards something I know is there, but may not always be able to see. Faith…things hoped for, yet not seen. I’m sure there will be sorrow and joy, suffering and healing, tears and smiles, troubles and triumphs along the way.  However, I’ve decided to embrace this new season, and I'm praising God for my renewed vision. In fact, I'm excited again, and I can feel the call of the Lord pressing me forward. I caught the vision and discovered “A New Day and A New Way!”

Rev Daina House